I am not the Babysitter

Brotherly Love

Jamie Lynne — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 01:03:36 +0000

Confession Friday

Jamie Lynne — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 03:19:24 +0000

I read craigslist “missed connections” to feel better about myself

Sure there are occasionally endearing messages, but for the most part they are hilarious.

And even if my day is just not going my way- at least I’m not this guy:

Wordless…

Jamie Lynne — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:41:23 +0000

Midweek Recap!

Jamie Lynne — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 06:05:42 +0000

Brian and I went with his brother and SIL to the Avalanche Ducks game.

Truthfully, I can’t follow hockey well when I go to a game. My eyesight sucks and I can never see the puck. I also have (what I thought was) an irrational fear of getting hit by the puck.

However, I do LOVE going to the games.

For the awesome atmosphere:

The happy people:

And the beer:

Unforunately, a guy sitting two seats down from our group, in our row did get hit with a puck. It hit him in the brow-bone and started heavily bleeding immediately. He was able to get up and walk to the ushers that called an ambulance.

I did not take pictures of the injured man for my blog because I’m not a jerk,

I shall give you this visual aid instead:

We went to the Grove this week and I bought Hunger Games. I’ve heard it is addicting. I’ll let you know.

Samuel and Aram were dying to try out their new sparkly princess coloring packets my mom got for them.

I thought their finished work was beautiful.

…..but do you notice anything particularly interesting about Samuel’s choice of colors for the princesses?

Aram's Art

Samuel's Art

Finally, the rain cleared up, the sun came out, and gave us this gorgeous distant view of the snow capped mountains from our bedrooms:

Clever Cleavage

Jamie Lynne — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 17:28:34 +0000

Everyone Meet Grace!

1. Tell us about your personal breastfeeding experience with your children:

I have 4 children. From the time I found out I was pregnant at 19, I knew I would breastfeed. It was normal, natural, what my mother did, and FREE! I figured if God gave us breasts, we might as well use them! Plus, you know, it was FREE! That’s a big deal when you are a broke 19 year old.

I figured it would be natural to just breastfeed, but thankfully, I got a lot of great advice… the first piece being that breastfeeding, in our society especially, is a learned skill. We don’t see much of it, and without being around it all the time, women can struggle. So I took classes, read books, talked to (and observed) nursing moms, practiced with dolls, and basically did everything I could to learn about breastfeeding.

When my daughter was born, I was able to nurse her right away in the delivery room. We did great, until my milk started coming in. Poor thing, I was making tons of milk and had a very active letdown, and she would just choke on all the milk! On top of that, I had all those unfortunate side-effects of a baby who can’t get a good latch: blocked ducts, nipple damage, and mastitis. I worked with my sister (a post-partum RN at the time) and a lactation consultant to figure out what to do, and also decided (eventually) to add a little more schedule to our nursing. All of these things helped, and we pushed through to nurse successfully for 18 months!

My second child was adopted and I did not nurse her. With my third child, we had a great start to nursing. However, when I became pregnant again (he was 4 months old), I started having supply issues. I did everything- supplements, hydration, pumping around the clock to increase stimulation… none of it worked. Eventually we had to switch to formula at the 6 month mark because I wasn’t producing enough, and he was too frustrated to keep going to the breast.

My fourth child is now 6 weeks old. Nursing is going great! I think she nursed 23 hours of her first 24 hours of life! My goal is to exclusively breastfeed for at least a year, and to allow her to self-wean after that.

2. What is your view of breastfeeding in public, and why?

I loved seeing women breastfeeding in Ethiopia, because it was just so unremarkable to those around them. Sadly, in the US, we have sexualized the breast to the extent that breastfeeding in public is no longer acceptable to many.

But I have 4 kids. We are never at home. My baby needs to eat. Therefore, I breastfeed in public.

It is my baby’s right to eat when she is hungry. Adults and even other children eat in public when they are hungry. So should she.

I nursed in public with all my kids, but now that I live in the Jackson, MS area, this is the first that I’ve encountered any real opposition. I’m glad I had the experience nursing my older kids before moving here, because in this area you never see women nursing, and if I didn’t feel confident, I probably would feel forced to stay at home or pump bottles before going out.

So now, nursing in public has become more meaningful to me. I think we need to normalize nursing… it should be like it was in Ethiopia- completely unremarkable to those around you! How do we do that? By exposing others to it. By treating it as normal ourselves. And by teaching those we can (starting with our children) that breastfeeding is totally normal, no matter where you are.

3. What is your view of sustained breastfeeding, and why?

When I was nursing my first nearly 10 years ago, most people I knew seemed to stop nursing at the 1 year mark. 18 months seemed like a long time to nurse, and we never nursed in public after her first birthday.

Now I know more. I know the WHO recommends nursing for the first 2 years of life. I know people like Jamie who were breastfed longer and who are breastfeeding their own children longer. I know that what is right for me and my family is no one else’s business. I hope to allow my littlest to self-wean some time after age 2 (she seems pretty opinionated, so we will see what happens!)

4. What is your view of adoptive breastfeeding, and why?

I wish I would have known more about adoptive breastfeeding when I adopted! My daughter came home at 18 months, and was breastfed the first 13 months of her life. While I don’t think she was ready the for physical intimacy of breastfeeding (and I’m not sure I could have handled the demands of a relactation protocol as a working single mom on a budget), if we adopt again, I hope to be able to explore this option. There is research that shows that even if children do not gain a physical benefit from breastfeeding, there is definitely a psychological benefit. I think more people in the adoption process need to be aware of adoptive breastfeeding as an option!

5.Is there anything you find unique about your breastfeeding story with your children?

I know most teens would not have chosen to breastfeed, and I think many moms would not have stuck with it after the difficulties I had with my first one. Other than that, I think my breastfeeding journey is a lot like life… there are ups and downs, but it’s mostly about what you make of it!

6. Is there anything you wish you did differently?

I used to have a lot of regrets about my parenting, including breastfeeding. But I’ve come to realize that I did the best I could with what I knew and what resources I had. I don’t regret the past, but I now know more for future decisions.

7. Is there anything you would like to add? Feel free to answer questions you feel readers would like to know from breastfeeding moms.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about breastfeeding out there (FYI- It doesn’t hurt, and if it does, it means you need some support! Also, it doesn’t feel weird.) Most healthcare providers don’t really know about the act of breastfeeding, even if they are able to tell you that it is the best way to feed your baby (and not all of them even know that much!) That’s why I think it’s important for anyone who loves a nursing woman- or a woman who might nurse in the future- to know the facts and be supportive of breastfeeding! There are lots of great websites with wonderful information. There are also groups like La Leche League who can be great sources of information and support.

I believe all women who want to breastfeed can be successful with the right information and support, so be a part of that!

Also, if you are breastfeeding, take pictures! You’ll never regret recording that special time!

Don’t forget to check out Grace’s Blog! gracelings.org

If you would like to be featured in “Clever Cleavage” please contact me: Jamie(at)iamnotthebabysitter(dot)com

A Storm’s a Brewin’

Jamie Lynne — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:33:38 +0000

Hallelujah, it is finally raining in Los Angeles!

I am all for the sunny weather, but I do appreciate a few days of fog and rain sprinkled into the winter.

Rainy Day Agenda:

Hot Soup

Tea

Movies on the couch

Warm bath

Good Book

And finally-

finishing up the Fayye Foundation website with my best buddy, Mr Ellis.

Confession Friday

Jamie Lynne — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 18:53:05 +0000

“I don’t like it when things I like become popular.“

That’s weird, right? I guess that is why it is my confession.

Hear me out.

Example 1: I liked Ugg boots way before they became popular.

Me and my Uggs in 1992 (my poor sister had the flu and still dressed up for me)

My Uggs in 1990

I don’t have a problem with other people liking the same things as me.

My issue that is once it becomes popular it will have its moment and eventually become unfashionable.

Uggs held true to that. They had their fleeting trendy moment and now they are considered part of “train-wreck fashion.”

I liked them before I they were popular, while they were popular, and I still like them now. I will be strong and continue to wear them despite the stigma of being unfashionable (it is the cross I must bear )

Also, supply and demand. Once Uggs became popular they had to start outsourcing to China. They lost their quality and fall apart or get holes MUCH easier (I have a pair from when I was 12 that still have no issues from wear)….(and I’m just realizing now it is weird my feet haven’t grown since I was 12…)…..

The quality of the shearling was what made me love them so much to begin with.

Now I buy Love From Australia because that is the closest thing I can find to the original quality.

No more true Uggs….

Example 2: Betty White

I’m glad she is living it up in her 90s and is so popular, but darnit, I liked her first.

I watched Mary Tyler Moore and the Golden Girls throughout my entire childhood.

The teasing I received when I told my friends my favorite show was the Golden Girls as a teenager (I watched it every evening at 7PM when I was in high school)

Now look at them all, jumping on the Betty bandwagon….I shake my head…(you know who you are!)

What’s next? Oprah?!…Errr….wait………nevermind….

Armenian Luleh Kebabs

Jamie Lynne — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:44:43 +0000

One of my favorite dishes!

Ingredients:

3lbs ground lamb
1/4 cup parsley, chopped fine
1/4 cup onion, chopped
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1/4 can evaporated milk
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
2 teaspoons coriander
1/2 teaspoon all spice
Dash cayenne pepper

Preheat Oven to 375 degrees

Mix all ingredients together well but DO NOT OVER MIX (this is important)

Form into about 2 inch ovals:

If you wish, the luleh kebabs can be frozen at this point. Pack for freezing in plastic bags or freezer safe glass tupperware. Defrost in refrigerator.

Arrange luleh kebabs in a glass pyrex for baking.

Cover with tomato sauce:

Cover with foil and place in center oven for 30 minutes.

Remove foil and cook for an additional 10 minutes (or until cooked throughout)

Serve with Pilaf.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Jamie Lynne — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 16:34:35 +0000

Los Angeles has a parade every year for MLK Day.

I’ve never been and figured the kids were old enough to take this year.

So off we went.

The parade itself wasn’t overly produced. I sometimes like that better. The kids liked watching it for about 15 minutes and then they were ready to explore.

They were having a gospel festival Leimert Park.

Off we go again.

Samuel had his sights set on the African drummers:

We spent the majority of our time there, and after that we were all ready to get going.

I thought Brian was being a little overly cautious with this kids because of the area we were in. I thought maybe on a day without the parade that made sense, but on this day I figured it was just a relatively safe area.

Then reality hit me.

I was crossing the street with Samuel when I noticed in the corner of my eye people yelling and yanking their kids and running the other direction.

All of a sudden I hear Brian out of nowhere yelling to me to come back. He dropped Aram and was coming to grab us.

Apparently the crips and bloods were about to fight and I was smack dab in between the two groups. I had no idea.

We got the hell out of dodge and Brian said we will be attending the MLK Day festivities in Pasadena next year.

I agreed.

Clever Cleavage

Jamie Lynne — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 07:14:50 +0000

Everyone Meet Christina (or Tina of TicoandTina.com)

1. Tell us about your personal breastfeeding experience with your children:

I always knew I was going to breastfeed my children, but when I was pregnant with my first child I realized that I really felt rather gross about it. I don’t think I had any weird body issues or anything, the thought of it just made me feel very odd – I didn’t like the thought of how it would feel physically. But I figured that was just one of probably many things I was going to do for my children in spite of wanting to or not.It turned out that once I tried it, it actually wasn’t really weird to me at all. Although, honestly, saying that now I can hardly believe myself because once again, being done with breastfeeding now for about six months, it does seem like it would be super weird again! But I ended up breastfeeding my first baby for 23 months and my second for 17 months, so I am quite sure it would all be old hat to me the third time around if we ever have another

2. What is your view of breastfeeding in public, and why?

OK, hear me out on this – it’s a long one and probably a little different than a lot of others. I don’t have a problem with moms breastfeeding in public, but I do think it is good to be discreet about it. I understand that breasts were made as a food source for babies and it should be a natural thing, but I certainly don’t think that’s the only thing that breasts were made for and I don’t think it makes sense to just completely ignore the sexual side of them.Has the over-sexed United States paraded the perversion of breasts (and sex in general!) to ridiculous extremes? Most assuredly!!! But I would be cautious to allow the pendulum to swing too far in the other direction, as it generally tends to when people are riled and defenses go up, pretending that breasts aren’t sexual at all or shouldn’t be viewed as such by the random passer-by. To me that’s like saying no one should care if a guy whips it out and indiscreetly urinates in a busy public parking lot. Sure, you’re not going to conjure up warm fuzzies from that the same way you might from a baby attached to a breast, but the fact remains – they are both natural and necessary. Natural and necessary does not somehow = no discretion.

The reality is, in my opinion, breasts being used to satisfy your husband sexually is not somehow less noble than to feed your baby. They are both good things and they both have their place, and that’s ok.

This is certainly not to say that I agree with mothers getting flack for nursing their hungry babies in public. Never would I agree with making a big deal about it or harassing a mother; we don’t need people making an already sometimes difficult good thing even more difficult.

I do think, though, that the mothers who go about the act of breastfeeding with the obviously abrasive attitude that they have something to prove to the world by letting their boob hang out for unsuspecting passersby to see, are merely doing a disservice to their fellow breastfeeding mothers, particularly those who choose to be more modest. These abrasive kinds of mothers are those who would hold the glance of a passerby as if to say “yeah, my boob’s hanging out, it’s natural – see, I have a baby to prove it, whatcha gonna do about it, huh?!” (never mind that their baby is looking around at all the hustle and bustle, or even worse, being burped at the time).

I just think a boob is a boob, regardless of it’s current function, and that means you don’t really get to decide how others will view it. Last I checked we weren’t living in the Garden of Eden anymore, so everyone can tell when you’re naked I think that’s probably why many people, including myself, are more comfortable nursing in front of men who are strangers than men who are family and friends.

Here is a thought, maybe trying to force public breastfeeding on the over-sexed culture that is the United States is attacking the problem from the wrong side… I believe many women are sending mixed messages by allowing themselves to be objectified through what they wear and participating in ads, movies, and pornography. We tell men “look at my boobs!” with certain cuts of shirt one minute and the next, “you pervert!” for being uncomfortable with breastfeeding. What if we started standing against all of that with the realization that it would help to return some of the respect that is due to our bodies and our breasts. I would like to see us attack the real underlying problem and not just one of the symptoms of that problem.

Personally, out of the 40 months I’ve breastfed in my life, I’d say easily fewer than a handful of the times were in public of mixed gender. That’s just what I preferred for myself. I’d love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts about this, lol.

3. What is your view of sustained breastfeeding, and why?

Before having children I had known I would want to breastfeed for at least a year, and in doing research on the benefits to both child and mother, I thought it would be cool to make it to two years. My main hangup was that to my knowledge all of my real life friends weaned by 1 year and I wasn’t sure how weird they would think I was. (Ultimately that doesn’t matter to me, especially in regard to my children and the way we do things – we always do them for a reason, but it was just one of those topics I just figured I would try to avoid.)I also thought it would be weird to have a child walking around, talking, and also breastfeeding. What I discovered was that since babies don’t start running or spouting full sentences overnight, it is a gradual thing that doesn’t add any weirdness to breastfeeding. I can’t speak for beyond two years, but I would imagine if you keep going it’s the same concept. My son is now at the age where I stopped breastfeeding my daughter, but I have been done breastfeeding him for six months already, so now it does seem like it would be weird if I was still nursing him. He was just done earlier than my daughter.

My friends might have initially thought I was weird for breastfeeding my daughter so long, but I never made an issue of it and as we’ve all grown in our mothering experience I feel we’re all a lot less judgmental and give each other a lot more grace to do things differently.

4. What is your view of adoptive breastfeeding, and why?

I think it’s awesome that adoptive breastfeeding is possible and I’m sure I would try it if we ever adopted. I think it’s a great bonding thing.

5. Is there anything you wish you did differently?

I had a good milk supply. I always wished I would get into a good routine of pumping to build up a good stash, but I always just ended up being too tired or not feeling like it. If we had another baby and my husband was home with me full time this time around (self-employed) I think maybe I would do a better job at that. The only pump I ever really liked was the Medela hand pump. I always tried to have it with me when we were out and about and it came in handy lots of times. It’s really easy to forget all the rigamarole that surrounds the early days of babies because it goes sooo fast (although it doesn’t necessarily feel that way at the time =)

6. Is there anything you would like to add? Feel free to answer questions you feel readers would like to know from breastfeeding moms.

With both of my children I got a very painful split nipple, bleeding and all. It would feel like someone was stabbing me when they initially latched on. The first time around I think I kept waiting for it to just heal and it couldn’t, so I finally ended up going to the dr. and it turns out there is some really awesome prescription salve stuff you can put on. It is like magic! The second time around I knew I needed it so I didn’t have to suffer for very long. Sorry I do not remember what that salve is called right now, but just don’t suffer along for no reason if something like that happens to you, lol. Go see a dr.

I did find that I was not really able to get back to my pre-baby weight while nursing. I know that some people can’t keep the weight on when they are breastfeeding, my mom was one of those and I had hoped I would be also, but no such luck. I kept a good ten pounds with each of my kids until they were done with my body. That is probably one of the harder things for me, the feeling of your body not being your own for quite a long time – 10 months of being pregnant followed by almost 2 years of nursing – that’s a long time to feel rather frumpy.

Thanks for letting me share my breastfeeding experience thus far. I wish you all good luck on your journeys!

Don’t forget to check out Christina’s blog ticoandtina.com!

If you would like to be featured in “Clever Cleavage” please contact me: Jamie(at)iamnotthebabysitter(dot)com